The pope and his swooshy eBook
Pope Francis and I have something in common but it’s not Catholicism.
The Pope has written an eBook.
You won’t find it on Kindle, though.
No doubt the Pope is busy running the Vatican and doesn’t need the cash, so he happily avoided formatting his book for Amazon’s proprietary Kindle platform. He also side-stepped having to complete all those tedious royalty and tax form details.
Besides, the Pope is a celebrity and doesn’t need to market his book alongside millions of other self-published authors.
Anyway, the thought of Pope Francis writing an eBook sounds exciting. Is it an expose taken straight from the Vatican’s secret vault? Or perhaps it’s a historical drama set during the corrupt reign of Pope Alexander VI of the Borgia clan. Or possibly an Irish romantic triangle between a cardinal, a nun and a few altar boys?
Perhaps it’s an action thriller encompassing witch trials, the Spanish Inquisition, the decimation of the Aztec and Inca empires, misguided missionaries and the ex-communication of Henry the VIII.
Sadly, no. Pope Francis’ eBook is merely a short spiel about Catholicism in a flip book format, with accompanying swooshing sound effects as the digital pages are turned.
Each page has a paragraph accompanied by photos of him greeting, smiling and blessing people.
So, really, you couldn’t call it a book — or even an eBook. Rather, it’s more a Powerpoint presentation for your mobile.
Maybe the Pope realises that in the 21st century nobody bothers with books written in fancy calligraphy anymore.
Or he knows that barely anyone reads at all now except, perhaps, for little books that swoosh.
The Pope’s eBook
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About the author
Sue Bell is an entertainment writer and author of Backpacked: A mostly true story, Beat Street and When Dreamworks came to Stanley.