Miley, Sinead, the Pope and those Middleton girls: reincarnation’s living proof
Readers of my previous post about reincarnation and how I might have been a wire cutter on the Western Front and/or a donkey in Ancient Egypt will recognise my continuation of the theme in this post.
In fact, if you are still reading my stuff at all I admire your persistence.
Anyway, I proposed an idea for a television series called What do you think you were? It would be based upon the premise of genetic memory and reincarnation and each week would feature celebrities and their past lives.
Depending upon the celebrity, it could provide proof of reincarnation or genetic memory. It could also offer great entertainment and attract advertising dollars that would make the expense of taking famous people to obscure locations worthwhile.
Any television show that features reincarnated celebrities is bound to be a ratings winner. Of course, the formula is dependent upon celebrities agreeing to participate so I’ve provided a list of suitable candidates to get the show rolling.
Physician/patient at Bethlem Royal Hospital — aka Bedlam — established at Bishopsgate London in 1247.
Bedlam was a notorious insane asylum. It was also where the popular metaphor ‘It’s Bedlam in there,’ originated. It was described by one eyewitness as full of “cryings, screechings, roarings, brawlings, shaking of chaines, swearings, frettings and chaffings.”
Miley’s latest video, in which she sits atop a giant wrecking-ball singing about a broken heart, would have been a perfectly ordinary sight at Bedlam. In fact, it wouldn’t even raise an eyebrow other than to solicit a passing comment, ‘Miley, go put some clothes on if you’re going to swing on that all day.”
But Miley probably threw excrement at anyone who tried to give her advice because this was a popular method of attack by patients and explains why many centuries later she’s still slinging it via Twitter.
Alternatively, Miley may not have been a patient at all but the physician James Crooke who witnessed patients swearing, crying, shaking chains and screeching and thus the inspiration for the wrecking ball video clip.
Unfortunately, James Crooke did not understand, care or show any empathy for his charges. Instead he appropriated their food and sold it for a profit. He was subsequently dismissed which is what Miley did about Sinead’s mental health issues by mocking her on twitter.
Sinead O Connor
Martin Luther – University of Wittenberg, Germany 1400s – 1500s
Martin Luther was a priest who wrote to the Bishop Albert of Mainz about an institution run by men called the Catholic Church who were exploiting the poor by making them buy indulgences. The letter went viral round Europe due to a new technology called the printing press and within two months Luther was a star. Luckily for Luther, the Pope merely excommunicated him rather than have him burned as a heretic at the stake. Luther went on to found the Reformation.
Similarly, Sinead O’Connor queried the role of the Catholic Church and tore up a photograph of the Pope on the MTV awards. Sinead was promptly excommunicated, record sales plummeted and she retired to her native Ireland to contemplate the image of rock stars. Many years later she writes open letters to Miley Cyrus warning her about an institution called the music industry run by men who exploit the poor by making them watch Miley’s videos. The messages then go viral due to a new technology called Twitter and the Pope is relieved that nobody is hassling him about it.
Alternatively, Sinead and Miley were patients at Bedlam together and Sinead had to watch Miley swinging around naked on a wrecking ball and she’s still pissed off about it five centuries later.
Kate and Pippa Middleton
The Boleyn sisters – Hampton Court 1500s
Anne Boleyn was, of course, the wife of Henry the VIII and mother of Queen Elizabeth the 1st. She was beheaded by Henry because he grew tired of her and made up some silly story that she was having an affair with her brother. There is some conjecture as to whether he was first involved with Anne’s older sister Mary but she got married and thus left Henry free to chase the other Boleyn girl.
A long courtship ensued because Anne refused to be his mistress and held out for a marriage proposal. Henry explained that despite his wife being locked up in the tower he was still married and couldn’t comply, but Anne was driving him crazy so he wrote to the Pope asking for a divorce. The Pope refused because he was sick of getting letters from Martin Luther complaining about corruption and knew he’d have to put up with Sinead O Connor in a couple more hundred years. Henry broke with the Church, married Anne and then decided that he didn’t like her all that much after all and wished he hadn’t been so hasty about Sir Thomas Moore.
Which brings us to the Middletons and Kate being the reincarnation of Mary who gets to have William first. However, William may not be the reincarnation of Henry VIII in which case Kate has nothing to worry about. If William is the reincarnation of Henry VIII, though, he will tire of Kate and move onto Pippa. He might stay with Pippa as he doesn’t have to worry about the Pope or getting a divorce because the royals can do that now since they have their own church thanks to Martin Luther.
This is a good outcome for Pippa who gets to keep her head and ignore any silly rumours about incest with her brother.
And the Pope doesn’t have to excommunicate anyone until the next version of Martin Luther/Sinead O Connor turns up in a couple of centuries to give him a hard time.
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About the author
Sue Bell is an entertainment writer and author of Backpacked: A mostly true story, Beat Street and When Dreamworks came to Stanley.